Boyfriend
by FrameofReality
Summary: When the Warden gets drunk after a contest with Oghren and is seen taking Sten to her tent, everyone gets the wrong idea. ...Or did they?


"Look, I really don't care, I just want that THING out of my tent, got it?"

"…No."

"Is that all you can say?"

"No."

"Sten…I'm going to strangle you."

"Unlikely. Why not bother one of your other companions?"

"Because! Alistair's scared of them, Zevran will find some way to be a pervert about it, Shale would punch me, Morrigan will just laugh and make it bigger with some spell, Leliana would try to make friends with it, Wynne will go on a speech about how everything deserves to live… Besides, if you don't, I won't stop annoying you until I pass out."

"Point taken." The kossith stood up, his expression never changing as he grabbed his sword and followed the Grey Warden to her tent. "Where is it?"

"Right by the pillow," She opened the tent flap for him and he peeked inside, a scowl etching itself across his face.

"I see nothing."

"Right there!"

"…It's hardly enough to cause someone so much distress."

"Are you kidding me? It's freaking HUGE!"

Sten sighed and climbed into the tent – somehow – and Rowan climbed in after him, making sure he was between her and her would-be assassin. With a look of extreme concentration on his face, Sten lifted his sword slowly…only to bring it down solidly, also causing the Cousland to jump, the base of the blade crushing the thing beneath it. He raised his sword, and the two leaned forward to analyze the damage.

"Your spiders are quite small compared to the ones in Par Vollen."

"There are bigger ones?" Sten nodded sternly, flicking the corpse out of the tent. Rowan was surprised it didn't shatter, considering his immense strength.

"You do realize when you are…inebriated…you are very unreasonable. Normally, you would have been able to handle such a small matter."

"Are you saying I'm drunk?"

"Yes."

"I am not!"

"…You had a drinking contest with the dwarf."

"Doesn't mean I'm drunk," she grumbled, narrowing her eyes. Sten said nothing, just exited the tent, but he turned around as he heard her coming after him.

"No." He frowned down at her, her body halfway out of the tent, bloodshot eyes wide with surprise. "Sleep."

"I'm not tired,"

"You are acting like a child. Therefore, you shall be treated as one." He crossed his arms over his chest, sword still in hand.

"Damn Qunari…" she muttered before rolling her jade green eyes. "When I wake up tomorrow, you better hope I have a hangover or I'm going to kick your ass." A smirk graced the edges of his lips before instantly vanishing. He turned and went to sit near a tree, out of sight of the others, while she curled up under her covers, cursing under her breath.

The next day, after a terrible hangover during which they traveled to Denerim, Rowan allowed Morrigan, Zevran, and Leliana to accompany her to the marketplace.

"So, Rowan…" Morrigan started, casting Zevran a glance. "I think you owe me some coin, yes?"

"What? Why?" The Warden rounded on her, confused.

"If you remember last night, which I doubt you do, considering how much alcohol you consumed, Zevran made an observation."

"Observation? Of what?"

"If you recall, my dear," Zevran stepped in, grinning. "I noticed every time you got the chance, you were gazing at the big boy by the fire."

"He means Sten," Leliana piped in, giggling.

"So?"

"Then after you had downed quite a few rounds, you went to your tent…" Morrigan leaned forward a bit.

"Then you went back and talked with him…" Zevran smirked.

"Then he came back to the tent with you!" Leliana smiled.

"Yeah?"

"So…how was he?" Morrigan pressed. "Did you really have to wear armor and a helmet?"

"What do you mean?"

"She means, 'Was he good in bed?'," Zevran cleared up.

"W-What? No, it's not like that at all! There was a spider, and I asked him to get rid of it!"

"A spider?" Leliana tilted her head. "He didn't come back to the fire for awhile after…how big was the spider?"

"Oh, I'm sure it was quite large," Morrigan cackled.

"Shut up," Embarrassed beyond belief, she put her hands on her hips. "You guys are serious perverts, you know that?" She turned to pay the merchant, who in turn handed her a bag, which Zevran grabbed.

"What's this?" he opened it, Leliana looking over his shoulder.

"Cookies?" She giggled. "You got Sten a gift!"

"What? No! They're for me!" Rowan snatched them back.

"Rowan's got a boyfriend!" Leliana sung. "Boyfriend, boyfriend!"

The Warden said nothing, just stomped her way back to camp, face red, her three companions laughing behind her…until Zevran said something, to which Morrigan replied, "I hate you all."

She waited until everyone else was asleep, or, at least, out of sight before she grabbed the bag of cookies she had bought earlier and went over to the Qunari.

"Here," she dropped them on his lap, and he cast a glance at her before opening it…and immediately grabbing two cookies, shoving them into his mouth. He realized what he had done, however, and sat there for a moment before swallowing and turning to speak to her.

"What are these for?"

"For getting rid of that spider…and as an apology, I'm annoying as hell when I get drunk."

"Yes." She took a cookie and went back to her tent. Sten watched her go until the flap obscured his view of her, then went back to eating the baked goods, much like a starved animal. In the nearby bushes, Zevran and Leliana stifled their laughter while Morrigan smirked before zapping the elf with a small bolt of electricity for 'accidentally' touching her leg.


End file.
